lifestyle

I’m so in love!

This day has been amazing so far! I slept in, took my time, and I nourished my creative sides today – I went out for some inspiration for my apartment and to pick up some new canvas. Little did I know that I would totally fall in love with a yellow sofa. I need to have this in my life and it’s perfect for the hallway I’m gonna turn in to a reading corner.

I matched it with other stuff I want for my reading corner, or library as I like to call it. I prefer to have my books up on the wall to free space on the floor – And I have picked a wall colour to go with it:

I love how Scandinavian this looks and I can’t wait to actually start decorating. I want to go for warmer colours because my living room will have the basics of grey, white, black and chrome. Though I am thinking about throwing in some orange statement pieces to spice things up a bit. Like this:

I finally found a dining room set that I love as well!

I have a similar lamp, but mine is more champagne glass formed. I would have bought it today, but I have nowhere to store it while my apartment is being ripped to pieces.

As you might be able to tell I am sooo ready to get things moving! And hopefully I will be able to soon. I just had to share my excitement. I can’t keep it in today! So thank you for stopping by and enjoy your Friday to the fullest. ❤

x

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lifestyle

One lifestyle tip that will change your fitness journey for the better.

Social media makes a healthy lifestyle seem so complicated. I mean, look at Instagram and all the weird exercises people post for variation. Why on earth would I complicate a standard glute thrust by putting a bench in the smith machine and lay on top of it? – Or the SoMe business platforms that promise you that it’s simple, but at the same time makes sure you understand that you must have (expensive) help to achieve your goals – what ever your goals may be. And don’t get me started on the “you are beautiful the way you are (but you must want to be the best version of yourself because that is the one closes to our ideal and you’ll have to pay for it). Sigh. I’m gonna share a secret with you, for free, because it’s much needed.

First off I want to give you a little background, that is: my background. Because I did all these things for years: expensive coaches, excessive dieting, overtraining. I was frustrated, obsessed and full of it. I was unhealthy. Obsessiveness is never healthy. I spent about three or four years obsessing over my fat percentage, my food, my gym schedule and being pissed of at anything that came in my way of my fitness journey. I trained every single day. Hard. Let me tell you, that’s not a life worth living, unless you breath competition. With that said I’m not saying working out every day is bad, on the contrary- but the way I did and with my mindset it was not beneficial. To little fuel, to much hard work and a negative mindset made me physically sick continuously (I always had the flu, not that I let that stop me). Sometimes I think pictures can say more than words, so let’s take a look:

Don’t be fooled by the smiles. This is 6 days a week of overtraining, muscle problems, little growth, under-eating, bringing meals because I couldn’t eat what other people ate, frustration caused by thoughts like “I’m to fat.”, “I need to lose more fat.” Etc. How sick is that? Looking back now I understand my reasons for doing this, which is an whole other story, but when push comes to shove: this is the reality for many people. We obsess over stupid shit like this with the idea that when we reach ” perfect” – which does not exist btw because there will always be something to fix – then we can start living our lives. If I could I would have slapped the f*ck out of myself at the time. The saddest thing is that there is so much money in this for different businesses. People seriously live their best life of your bad self esteem, and that my friend, makes me even sadder.

My body had breakdown and I took a year of everything called gym and diet. I gained weight. Peculiar enough I didn’t mind and I didn’t obsess about it. I was actually happier, believe it or not. Thinking about it, it’s not so hard to believe – my body actually got food which kinda makes you happy. I made a deal with myself that I would never ever return to my obsessive behaviour again, so once I actually started training again I had to take a lot of breaks when my negative mindset started to form again. I mean, I refused myself to go to the gym when the obsessiveness started to surface. And this is where we get to it: It’s all about your mentality. You need to develop a healthy mindset.

Tip: Focus on your mentality. Self-development is key.

You cannot fix something from the outside in, because no matter how fit you get or how close you are to the “ideal box”- if your mind isn’t with you in a healthy way, you will never be satisfied and grateful for what you are and have got. You cannot transform your mental disturbed thoughts with physical change. We are taught and fed with the idea that everything is external and this is why we fail.

My transformation did take some time. I wanted the mental plane to be good and fitness to be enjoyable and about more than physical results. On the far left I was unhappy (read: hungry). In the middle I didn’t really care and on the right and the two pictures below I started my journey back to the gym.

Now, a couple of years later and with a completely different mindset I’m back in shape. I don’t train nearly as much and I don’t follow any diet. I feed myself with what I believe is healthy for me both in body and soul, I eat when I am hungry and I make conscious choices. I also enjoy myself, take time off, drink alcohol and enjoy meals wherever I can get them. And I usually don’t train during holidays.

So what is it that I do? Well, I keep it simple and enjoyable. I train strength One hour three times a week on average, I do restorative yoga once a week (just because I enjoy it, and it has so many benefits) and I eat food that benefits me and that I enjoy according to my pallet when I am hungry. These are habits that I’ve made, enjoyable habits, and I do not overthink it.

I stopped overthinking.

You don’t need to try every weird ass f*cking isolated exercise from Instagram. You do not need to eat leafs and starve. Or live on supplements. You do not need to spend two hours a day in a gym. Most importantly you do not need to buy all the crap people try to sell you. What you do need is to figure out what works for you with a healthy mindset and stick with it, and if you’re mindset is obsessive about everything that is wrong – then you work on that first.

I guess what I am trying to say is:

and the rest will follow. Don’t waste your time, money and energy, and know that you cannot buy perfection.

x

Personal

The unpredictable.

It’s a beautiful autumn day here in Norway and I’ve been enjoying my morning with slow music and chores. Everyday chores, within the right circumstances, usually gives me good reflection-time. Thought trains that makes me question everything. Today my thought train has been tearing apart our need for planning.

The need for planning and the extent of it is independent of course, but we all do it to some extent. We fill our hearts and minds with hopes and dreams, goals and intentions – and we plan out how we are and what we need to reach them, to fulfil our desires. I do that – to some extent. I can be very clear in what my desires are in some areas of my life and I can be totally open or closed in others. I often live on a “happy go lucky”-attitude, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t work hard to achieve my hearts desires. It simply means that I am open to the unpredictable and that I embrace what ever appears in my path – good or bad. I’ve also learned that my desires often collide with my environment, not a new lesson learned by the way, and the hardship it is to accept that others might not accept that.

So, the problem I have with planning is that I simply don’t want my life to be blueprinted in all areas. I want the opportunities and the unpredictable. I want to make choices based on my current situation and my feeling place. I want to be open minded and embrace the music of life – whatever song that might be. And I want to be able to accept how everything turns out in the end, no matter if it is a rocky or a pleasant journey. To me excessive planning is a desperate need for control and a sign that we are outside our feeling place. We cannot control everything. We can guide ourselves in the desired direction.

I plan very little. I take steps and let the world unfold. I desire map twice a year. I prioritise the things that’s closest to my heart at the given time. I plan short term in the direction of my life’s desire and I keep my mind open to changes. I draw out my priorities from my overall desired feeling place.

Excessive planning and the expectation that we always know what we want in any given situation drives me insane. Now, I might have been exposed to this over a period of time, but nothing has ever been clearer to me than that way of living is so very wrong – to me anyway.

So yeah.. there you go. Today’s thought train.

Enjoy your Wednesday.

x

Personal

Horsing around

The day finally came: I got back on the horse! Horses was my favourite activity as a child and I took it very seriously. It’s ridiculous that I’ve waited twenty years to get back into it.

Martine and I contacted a Horse Center close to us and was given the opportunity to come by for a ride – and make it more permanent, which we will. But my god I am rusty! I need to read up, practice and get back into the whole deal, because there’s a lot of things to think about while handling a horse. I was very happy that I was given such a beautiful gelding, I could not have asked for a better horse. His name is Neptun and he put his head on my chest during our grooming session, which was such a beautiful moment. He is a Polski Konik and a very kind man – even if he takes every opportunity to ravish every bush in his way.

It took a while for me to get into the rhythm of Neptun and get comfortable, but now all I can think about is our next ride. I’m completely in love with riding all over again and just the smell of the stables brought back a flash of memories. I’m so glad that I have Martine to share this with and that we both enjoyed ourselves so much!

I’m definitely back to my childhood wish of getting a horse now and have decided that I will – when I’ve decided where I want to settle down in the future. Horses are such beautiful animals with the most amazing souls. Just being around them makes me immensely happy and calm.

I guess we can round this up to mission successful. One step closer to a long lost passion.

I hope you have an amazing Friday as well and all the best wishes for your weekend. Thank you for stopping by.

x

Norwegian culture, Personal

Making a home.

A home is more than a house. Or apartment for that matter. Yes, we need walls and doors, but a home – to me – is a reflection of the individual. Some like colours, some are creative, some like minimalism, some are classical, some are trendy, some are messy and some are super clean. A home can tell you a million things about a individual. Their character, their priorities, their habits. An American familymember told me that Norwegian homes looks like catalogue material and in all honesty there is a reason for that. I’m not saying all Norwegians are super clean and high levelled interior designers, believe me we are not, but in all fairness we do spend a good amount of time indoors during winter. We like it cozy, we’re pretty much stuck in there. It’s a home, not a house.

As you know I recently bought an apartment and I am super excited to make it my home – once all the mess is over (I’ll get back to that later, when the mess is over). I went a little overboard meeting some obstacles and took comfort shopping to a whole new level. I bought furniture! With nowhere to put it. Buuut.. I’m super happy to share with you some of the stuff I got – to give you an idea about how it will look in the end.

I’ve been drooling over this chandelier and sofa for well over a year. I knew I had to have them long before I even found a place to put them in. I’m very happy to say that these beautiful pieces of art has already arrived and I can’t wait to put them in my (hopefully soon) totally renovated apartment! I bought this piece last summer and it will be lovely with the sofa:

I like my furniture calm and settling, but magnificent. That way I can play with the details with out having the room scream at me. And change things up without having to spend money like a duke. Like these coffe mugs. And candlelight’s. And paintings. And all other stuff to decorate with. Now this isn’t my most colourful picture, but I do like to sneak in some colour here and there.

My focus these days is first of all to get things in order, but I do like to browse the internet for possible additions every now and again. Currently looking for a dining room table with some Scandinavian designed chairs to go with my soon coming black kitchen. Got any good websites I can visit? I’ll gladly take some tips!

I am really excited to create my home and I’m very excited to share my vision with you. I just can’t wait to show you the finished result in the future.

..and to be drinking my coffee, snuggling on my choice of a kitchen counter. But this will be it for now.

Thank you for stopping by. Again, if you have some good tips for websites please share in the comments. It’s much appreciated ❤

x

Personal

A personal journey: The story I wouldn’t share and my most vulnerable moments.

You’re stuck and everything you want is sitting right there in front of you, out of reach.. you crave change with an unsatisfactory hunger and the only thing between you and what you want is your minds limits. I broke it. I took it. All at once.

These last few months have brought massive change for me. It all started a couple of years ago when my long term relationship broke in a very ugly way and my whole world crushed in to a million pieces. Not because of the relationship itself, but because all I thought to be true – like friends and the revelation of characters that I had been surrounding myself with – turned out to be as fake as a three dollar bill. I’m not going to paint myself as a saint here, because I wasn’t, but I find it extremely fascinating how flawed individuals can take the moral high ground in other people’s lives like they’ve never stained themselves. It’s fascinating how morally superior some suddenly get, even knowing that their sheet isn’t clean at all. When fingers are pointed at your flaws and they actually mirror their own. Fascinating. Anyway, I did a massive relations clean out and the time following was very uneasy with a lot of noise from my past life. A vendetta actually. At the very same time I started a new relationship, new relations, a new job and I moved houses. It took my attention away from the noise and I got to refocus, heal a little and grow. I’m very grateful to all the people who were there for me in this time of massive disappointment, grief and heartache. Thank you.

In this time I also distracted myself enough to leave some stuff unhealed, which later came back to haunt me. You see, a few moths ago it all tipped over. Ten years in a bad relationship with both a bad beginning, middle and end, the cruelty of friends I trusted, those who did nothing (and I mean nothing! Which is almost worse) and the pattern of me waiting for others to come around. Adjusting. Hoping for the hopeless. Putting myself a side. I was angry, massively angry and completely done with dancing to anyone else’s tune. I developed severe anxiety. I was depressed. I was down for the count. I think I wore the same t-shirt for weeks.. and I didn’t leave the house. Again, I’m very grateful to you who were there for me and took care of me in this time when I wasn’t capable myself.

I am still not completely where I want to be and I am still healing, but I did decide to make some changes. I did draw my ideal life and I have reached almost every single intention in my desire map. People get surprised over my decision making in this time of need and healing, but to be honest the timing has never been better. Things have never been clearer and I have never been more determined than I am in this moment of time. I started travelling again. I started writing again. Working out again. Painting. I bought a home. I (we) broke off my relationship (we are still friends and I will hold him close to my heart forever, he saved me in many ways and I love him dearly). The difference this time is that all of this is not a distraction, it’s with clarity and intent from my hearts desire. I learned from my downfall what really mattered to me and that soulfood and intentions are more important than any ideal presented from the outside world. And to be honest; it feels both scary as hell and wonderful at the same time, but most importantly it feels right. Even if some of it hurts.

If there is one thing I’ve learned from all of this it is that: Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as being stuck somewhere you don’t belong.

Thank you for reading.

x

Personal

Goal digger.

Today is a great milestone for me. Today is the day I get the keys to the apartment I bought some time ago and to be honest it feels effing good. There is one habit I’ve learned and kept, and that is to reschedule and feel my life goals from time to time. I review them and take time to reflect appreciation and gratefulness for the things I have achieved and to picture my dream-life for the time to come.  This is one of the big ones. An apartment own fully by me, and only me – and the bank of course. This one is the impossible made possible. It also reminds me that the work I do with myself every day has such importance in how I achieve my goals. And how fast I get from A to B.

My life wasn’t always on track, even if it might have seemed that way to the outside world. A few years ago my life got turned upside down. Everything I knew was pulled from under my feet and I was forced to rethink my life completely. This made me realize that I had been living my life in regards to what was expected of me: from my social relations, from society, how I myself and how others thought I ought to live it. Not how I wanted to live it. The truth is that loosing everything gave my life meaning and was the greatest gift I ever received. It was a revelation that changed my view on what life has to give and how we go about to get it. I wasn’t happy and I didn’t even know it. Most of us go about every day the same and we forget this precious gift of life that we are given. I often think of this when I view this picture from my trip to San Francisco:

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Get in that little yellow, vulnerable car and learn how to drive in the traffic of life. I had no clue what I was doing, but I sure as hell learned how to drive – and enjoy it!

Today is one of those days where I am super grateful for everything that life threw at me, no matter good or bad. Everything shapes us and it’s your choice if it’s for the better.

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Life is a gift, wake up every day and realize that.