Personal

4 Life-changing books

Standing still in life is not a desired place to be. Often I think we don’t even know where we want to be due to the constant external influence we suck up on a every day basis. Now, I am both a introverted and a quiet person, which means I spend much time inside the space of my own mind – even when surrounded by many people. This space used to be filled with insecurities, criticism and a whole lot of negativity. That’s no way to move forward, let me tell you. Did you know that we think the same negative thoughts 80% of the day? The same, useless thoughts. What happens when we allow them to flourish? They keep coming back. Curious by nature and a keen reader, I started to pick books for self-awareness and that’s one of the best decisions I ever made. No one gives us this information, you have to be a seeker, which is my theory why so many get into mindfulness these days – but mindfulness is really just a fancy word for awareness and you don’t need to empty your head on the back of a virgin unicorn to have clarity in your life. So, since I’ve read a lot, listened to dozens of books and been a keen seeker for a long time I’ve decided to share my favourites with you.

The key element all these books have in common, and I want to point out that they are very different, is that complication and negativity are unneeded, excessive patterns that we can deal with in an easy, non energy draining way. Reading these will not make you mindful, but you might learn something that takes you in the right direction. Something that takes you away from this:

And towards a more fulfilling life experience.

I’m on round two of The joy of living and I return to The desire map often. Quiet I have heard one time (and it’s really good if you are introverted, but everyone has something to learn). The energy bus is the most simple, good feeling story with a wonderful message – I’ve heard that one a couple of times as well. All of these books is not a onetime read. It’s enjoyment, learning, practice and rereading. It’s books that will give you new impulses every time. Often we overcomplicate things, a lot of things, and there is really no need for that. All we really want is happiness, right?

These books have really made a difference to my life and I hope they can do the same for you – if you are willing. So enjoy and please let me know what you think of you go ahead with it 🙂

x

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Personal

A personal journey: The story I wouldn’t share and my most vulnerable moments.

You’re stuck and everything you want is sitting right there in front of you, out of reach.. you crave change with an unsatisfactory hunger and the only thing between you and what you want is your minds limits. I broke it. I took it. All at once.

These last few months have brought massive change for me. It all started a couple of years ago when my long term relationship broke in a very ugly way and my whole world crushed in to a million pieces. Not because of the relationship itself, but because all I thought to be true – like friends and the revelation of characters that I had been surrounding myself with – turned out to be as fake as a three dollar bill. I’m not going to paint myself as a saint here, because I wasn’t, but I find it extremely fascinating how flawed individuals can take the moral high ground in other people’s lives like they’ve never stained themselves. It’s fascinating how morally superior some suddenly get, even knowing that their sheet isn’t clean at all. When fingers are pointed at your flaws and they actually mirror their own. Fascinating. Anyway, I did a massive relations clean out and the time following was very uneasy with a lot of noise from my past life. A vendetta actually. At the very same time I started a new relationship, new relations, a new job and I moved houses. It took my attention away from the noise and I got to refocus, heal a little and grow. I’m very grateful to all the people who were there for me in this time of massive disappointment, grief and heartache. Thank you.

In this time I also distracted myself enough to leave some stuff unhealed, which later came back to haunt me. You see, a few moths ago it all tipped over. Ten years in a bad relationship with both a bad beginning, middle and end, the cruelty of friends I trusted, those who did nothing (and I mean nothing! Which is almost worse) and the pattern of me waiting for others to come around. Adjusting. Hoping for the hopeless. Putting myself a side. I was angry, massively angry and completely done with dancing to anyone else’s tune. I developed severe anxiety. I was depressed. I was down for the count. I think I wore the same t-shirt for weeks.. and I didn’t leave the house. Again, I’m very grateful to you who were there for me and took care of me in this time when I wasn’t capable myself.

I am still not completely where I want to be and I am still healing, but I did decide to make some changes. I did draw my ideal life and I have reached almost every single intention in my desire map. People get surprised over my decision making in this time of need and healing, but to be honest the timing has never been better. Things have never been clearer and I have never been more determined than I am in this moment of time. I started travelling again. I started writing again. Working out again. Painting. I bought a home. I (we) broke off my relationship (we are still friends and I will hold him close to my heart forever, he saved me in many ways and I love him dearly). The difference this time is that all of this is not a distraction, it’s with clarity and intent from my hearts desire. I learned from my downfall what really mattered to me and that soulfood and intentions are more important than any ideal presented from the outside world. And to be honest; it feels both scary as hell and wonderful at the same time, but most importantly it feels right. Even if some of it hurts.

If there is one thing I’ve learned from all of this it is that: Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as being stuck somewhere you don’t belong.

Thank you for reading.

x

Personal

Things aren’t always as they seem: 5 lessons I’ve learned in life and how I cope with anxiety.

You might not know this about me, but I suffer from anxiety. It’s not life threatening or something that I deal with every day, but I have moments and periods of time where I really have to work myself out of mental situations which are very challenging. It hasn’t always been so or been this severe, and it’s not something that I’ve shared with many people, but it is a part of my reality. Today is one of those days. These past days have presented a number of challenges to me and even though I have a positive mindset towards them and see a number of possibilities that I am excited about, I do get small cracks that in the end puts my physical and mental state in a sort of hibernation. It’s these days I struggle to get out of bed and to bring my energy up to a level where I can push myself out the door and into a (un)comfortable situation to get over it. I’ve accepted this part of me and I don’t dwell to much over it. And even though this has nothing to do with other people, I thought I’d share some life lessons with you that’s made this acceptable to me and how I cope.

Lesson 1: People see what they want to see.

No matter how much you share or the amount of work you put into your success and failures, people choose to see what they want to see – or believe your story from other’s lips. Somehow I think this is a result of others lack and their denial to face it rather than about you, and that’s OK, but it’s not something you need too deal with.

Lesson 2: Be a scissor, cut bad energy out of your life.

Remove those people from your life. In my case, some of them removed themselves and what a blessing! Spend your time with people who genuinely wishes you the best and cheers you on. Once you notice the difference, you will never bat an eye or hesitate again.

Lesson 3: You are not obligated to do anything. Loose that word from your vocabulary.

You choose what you want and don’t want to do. You are not obligated to do anything. It’s your choice and there is power in that.

Lesson 4:  You are alone.

We come into this world alone and we leave it alone. We are alone in our feelings, our mind and in our body.  I don’t mean loneliness in this case, it’s simply a fact of life and the sooner we realize this – the sooner we can work on our relationship with ourselves.

Lesson 5: Be fearless.

This might sound weird, but even though I suffer from anxiety I try to be as fearless as possible. I do things, go places and try new stuff all the time, especially those things that scare me a bit. Why? Because it’s inspiring,  it makes me grow and gives me good pieces of reflection that move me forward in this life. To be stuck is not to live and if you’ve never failed- you’ve never challenged yourself.

I’m not saying any of this is easy, because if it was we would all live wonderful, fulfilling lives all the time. I’m not gonna say that my anxiety is a blessing either, but it sure is something that I made a conscious choice to use as a tool to push myself. I have days where it’s absolutely inhibitory, but most often it’s a reminder to, as Taylor Swift put so perfectly;”shake it off” and go do something challenging. I know there are people out there who think that everything just comes so easily to me and that my life if a garden of blooming flowers all the time, but this simply isn’t the case.

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So there you go. Things aren’t always as they seem. I wish you a wonderful Saturday wherever you are and I myself are gonna shake it off and get out of my PJ’s.

x

Personal

Goal digger.

Today is a great milestone for me. Today is the day I get the keys to the apartment I bought some time ago and to be honest it feels effing good. There is one habit I’ve learned and kept, and that is to reschedule and feel my life goals from time to time. I review them and take time to reflect appreciation and gratefulness for the things I have achieved and to picture my dream-life for the time to come.  This is one of the big ones. An apartment own fully by me, and only me – and the bank of course. This one is the impossible made possible. It also reminds me that the work I do with myself every day has such importance in how I achieve my goals. And how fast I get from A to B.

My life wasn’t always on track, even if it might have seemed that way to the outside world. A few years ago my life got turned upside down. Everything I knew was pulled from under my feet and I was forced to rethink my life completely. This made me realize that I had been living my life in regards to what was expected of me: from my social relations, from society, how I myself and how others thought I ought to live it. Not how I wanted to live it. The truth is that loosing everything gave my life meaning and was the greatest gift I ever received. It was a revelation that changed my view on what life has to give and how we go about to get it. I wasn’t happy and I didn’t even know it. Most of us go about every day the same and we forget this precious gift of life that we are given. I often think of this when I view this picture from my trip to San Francisco:

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Get in that little yellow, vulnerable car and learn how to drive in the traffic of life. I had no clue what I was doing, but I sure as hell learned how to drive – and enjoy it!

Today is one of those days where I am super grateful for everything that life threw at me, no matter good or bad. Everything shapes us and it’s your choice if it’s for the better.

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Life is a gift, wake up every day and realize that.

 

Personal, Travel

Post vacay depression: Coping skills.

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Am I the only one who suffers from post-vacay depression? Ever damn time. It’s like a soul-sucking void that leaves your heart to bleed out. I know it’s coming and I try to prepare myself, but it gets me every time. I thought I’d share my coping skills with you and how I get back to normal habits after borrowing funloving time from the future. Here we go:

Day 1: Sleep and weep. Let’s be honest, I’m usually worn out AF. I sleep and then morn the end of a relationship with my travelling alterego.

Day 2: Gym. I also add berries to my proteinshake to try to make it more tasty. Does it work? Meh..

Day 3: Gym.

Day 4: Gym.

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Day 5: You see the pattern. Then I don’t feel like going to the gym and I remind myself that I have a new trip coming up. So I go to the gym and start getting excited about a new trip for sucking funloving time out of the future.

I add friends and family to the mix as well, a long with browsing the internet for new and old destinations.

….And that’s how I cope. Have you got any actual good coping skills, please share with me! I beg you.

På gjensyn!

Personal, Travel

Visit Israel part 2: My top 5 favourites!

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There is one thing I love about travelling and that is the authentic experience. Although Israel in itself is super fascinating and that I had a great experience doing touristy stuff, my top 5 is a bit different than the usual touristy thing. I love it when I get to hang out with locals and I want to share what I appreciate while having amazing trips like this one:

img_0133The numbering doesn’t really matter. These are all great things that I will appreciate and be grateful for, for the time to come.

I tasted a lot of different foods. I was lucky enough to come along for shabbat dinner as well. Thank you so much for that. Even if I thought I was going to die from overeating that night. Seriously..

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I also got to attend a Jewish wedding, which was such a fun experience! It’s so very different to the weddings I’m “used” too and it was refreshing to see it from another cultural perspective.

I went to two concerts. One was mostly CHRCHK for me because it was in Hebru, but I really enjoyed it. Second one was a Jam Sunday at Jimmy Who?, which was a lot of fun! The music scene in Israel is great and there is really a lot of amazing musicians – so much so that an American basketball player is actually chasing his music career there as we speak. Weird huh? I would have never thought..

The people I met was super funny. It’s been a long time since I laughed as much with strangers. Their humor is amazing and I love the self irony. My kind of people. If you don’t find Israelis funny, there’s something seriously wrong with you.

And of course the country in itself is absolutly stuinng. Everywhere I went the view was amazing. There’s not a lot of places in the world that happens. I mean, usually there is some ugly you know.. But no. I’m actually a bit jealous.

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Thank you so much for a wonderful time Israel. See you again sometime in the future. ❤

Personal

Handy women: Blurred lines

Hi there!

I’m sorry the activity has been low the past week. I’ve had so much on my plate, there hasn’t been enough hours in the day and time has just passed me by. One of the reasons why is that I just bought myself a new apartment! So between the open houses, the bidding rounds and everything else that goes on – I forgot to live a little. I woke up this morning totally in the fog, in my sweatpants, wondering what year it was. I was going to post a vlog for you guys, but that will have to wait a bit. Instead, with these new circumstances, I’ve decided to share some insight in how women in Norway go about handy stuff.

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Renovating my moms place last summer.

As a new homeowner I want to pull my hair out when I think about all the work that’s coming up in my future. The thing is, I will have to renovate the entire thing and I do that myself. Well, as much as possible that is, let’s be honest – I’m not a plumber. I’m not sure if this goes for all women in Norway, but in my family and with my female friends we tend to do a lot of stuff ourselves – including putting in new floors and walls. I’m very lucky to have such a handy mom, because she has taught me how important it is to be able to do shit yourself.  I’m not going to lie, it would be nice to just hire someone and get it done, but it’s always the risk that things wont get done properly and the way I want it. In my social circles it’s not unusual that women do handy work,  it’s just as common as babydaddys taking their kids for a stroll in the sunshine (we’ll get back to that one later).  Norway is a country where gender roles are blurred. Kinda kills the romance sometimes (we will get back to this one as well), but all in all it’s a good place to be female.

I’m not sharing pictures of my new place just yet, but I promise you will get to see the horror at some point – and the end result of course. Here are some of the stuff thats going  in to my new flat once it’s ready for it (look at that beautiful floor color! I’m dying):

If you’re curious and want to see some progress a long the way, you are more that welcome to follow me on Instagram – I will be posting stories about this project as time progresses.

Thank you for stopping by and have a lovely Saturday!

På gjensyn!