Norwegian logic

5 Brilliant Norwegian laws that will make you question humankind.

It’s not unusual to trip over articles about silly laws around the world. What surprises me is Norwegians lack insight into our own tragicomic laws. I did quick google search and let’s just say that I wasn’t impressed. What it taught me is that we love to make fun of American laws, but that we lack the self insight to humour ourselves by our own stupidity. So, to help correct this awry image I’ve taken the liberty to list five nonlogical laws of this wonderful country we call home.

Doesn’t this make you want to be a naughty person? Let’s run around in the forest picking mushrooms dressed in balaclavas while drinking double rum&cokes! I’m not going to encourage you to help out with the prostitution business, but you get my drift. Actually in most small cities you’re not allowed to buy food after 1am on the weekends, so let’s make it in to a picnic! You see, some politician thought food queues was the answer to the question “why do drunk people fight?”.

So there you go. Norwegians aren’t any better with legislation than anyone else. It might not be the most serious of laws, but good luck with the law enforcement. We tend to make up new laws without correcting old ones, like the prostitution law, which makes us end up with ironic laws like these. Or think for that matter: let’s forbid something that grows wild all around us!

Got to love Norwegian logic.

På gjensyn!

Advertisements
Norwegian logic

Blonde hair

Welcome back to Norwegian Logic!

Have you ever asked yourself why the people of one of the blondest countries in the world bleach their hair? I have. And I do it myself…

img_0089.jpg

….So why is this?

img_7677

I could begin to explain why I do it myself, of course, but there isn’t really any good answer to that other than the fact that I love blonde hair. And mine isn’t as blonde as it used to be naturally. But if we were to dig deeper? ..I can think of two reasons:

  1. The perception of how we think Norwegians are supposed to look.
  2. Youth. Youth. Youth.

We are proud to be a blonde nation, but isn’t sort of fake when we know that most people aren’t as blonde as they set out to be? Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of fair haired people, but I’m not gonna lie about the fact that most people enhance it a bit, myself included. We all know that Norwegians are supposed to be blonde, but reality is a little different – and bleached. Sorry.. (not sorry).

Second reason is a cultural one we share with a large part of the world: the strive for youth. We might not want to admit it and we might not even know it ourselves, but I think one of the reasons we bleach might be to look younger. You see, as children (not all of us of course) we were very, very, very blonde. Very blonde. I was anyway. And isn’t it obvious that it might be in connection with the wish to look younger?

Either way we are one of the blondest nations in the world, naturally.,even if it’s not platinum blonde. And we bleach. And that’s Norwegian logic.

På gjensyn!

 

img_1756

Norwegian logic

Norwegian logic: Easter

Welcome back!

To kick things off I’m starting out by introducing you to the fabulous logic of Norwegians – and lets be clear: Our logic makes no sense. Which is why you will able to bask yourself in different angles of Norwegian logic introduced to you on a monthly basis. To really understand what it means to be Norwegian one must accept and live these logical flaws. As a small and barely populated country we go about things and follow trends without asking questions – and this is why we end up with tons of logical flaws. Usually they are minor and less important, but since our politicians are Norwegian after all, we do end up with some weird laws as well. I will get back to that another time and start you off with something koselig (Norwegian word for Cozy. Adjective. A feeling of comfort, both physically and psychologically, often in a social setting). With Easter completed and spring coming there is no better topic than the logic of Norwegian Easter:

For years and years Norwegians have escaped the cities to populate the Norwegian mountaintops for Easter. Although we complain about snow for weeks in advance. The thing is.. Norwegians have got a very schizophrenic relationship with weather. Which I can assure you ranks the top of the list of subjects for small talk (whenever we do small talk). I suspect our strained relationship with snow stems from outer expectations of winter beauty and our amazing skill for skiing. Still, as an outcast Norwegian, I really have no idea why 90% of the population complaints about snow from February to April just to run for the mountaintop as soon as Easter arrive. I will admit that our Easter tradition is bound with our identity and that it does make me feel like a “typical Norwegian” when I do give in to pressure. Still, usually I would participate in Easter activities in the city instead of joining the rest of Norway in the crowded mountains. We’ve even got a word for it: “bypåske” (city Easter) – that’s how important it is to chase snow, so that they can talk about the sad bypåske-people while they ski.

As a child I was always told that going to the mountain and playing outside in the snow was healthy for me. So I put together a little map of what a healthy Easter means:

Norwegians can not have Easter without these things. Or without snow. Which we condemned for the last couple of months. This is the tradition.

That’s Norwegian logic.

På gjensyn!