The misconception of positivity

I did not understand it at the time, but after some maturing, a little taste of hell and several rereads of «the power of now», it made more sense than ever. The less things that clutter our lives, the happier we become. How you might ask? Well, It is all in the realization that nothing lasts for ever. Everything can be taken from you. Your relationships, your business, your money, your house, your perfect Chinese porcelain tea set, your health and yourself. I’ve lost myself at several occasions. Material things should never define you or your happiness, and yes: That includes other human beings. We live in cycles. We lose and we win. When we lose, we win the most. When we win, we get to comfortable, and then the fear of losing it all comes crawling. Maybe we fuck it up, maybe we don’t. And so life goes on. Now where does positivity fit in you might ask? Right here. Are you like me, sick of fucking unicorns and quotes that tells us to stay positive and happy, fake it till you make it. Just get up and shine and everything will be fine. Barf. Positivity is a state of mind. Positivity is the ability to see solutions. Positivity is change. That is what it is. What it is not is faking a smile, shitting fictional rainbows and/or suppressing all the fucked up things in your life, including your feelings. Positivity is widely misunderstood. Being positive, or having a positive mindset which is what I am addressing here, is about seeing solutions and being able to take action. You don’t even have to smile while doing it. Smiling is what we usually do when we are happy, and happy and positive are not synonyms. Just think about positive and negative in test-results. A positive test-result means that something has changed. Negative results means that nothing has changed. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you are going to be thrilled about the positive result, that this result will make you happy. Perhaps even on the contrary. But it does mean that something has changed. Positivity is often thought of as uplifting, and it is uplifting to master stuff. Being able to solve challenges and problems. To think solutions. There is no doubt that being happy is much easier with a positive mindset, but having a positive mindset doesn’t automatically make you happy. Positivity is widely misunderstood. 

2 Comments

  1. I remember when I was younger that I thought it was strange when drug-tests for professional athletes that indicated doping were described as “positive result”. That didn’t make any sense to me, “positive” was always supposed to mean something good I thought. So I had to always be conscious about that when I watched the sport-news and they mentioned “positive doping test” 😀

    Good post btw. You mentioned that you “lost yourself at several occasions”. Maybe for the next blog-post you could go into further details about this? Maybe a bit personal, but that would be interesting 🙂

    And also you mention that you are sick of “positivity-quotes”. Have you always felt that way, or is it just a period in your life right now? I kind of think I understand where you are coming from, that it somehow gets a bit shallow and “fake”? Maybe because we have been so bombarded with such quotes and sayings that we feel they can’t really be working very well because they so rarely seem to motivate anyone to any actual real change. People post them, so apparently they must have understood and contemplated its meaning. But if you track their lives one year from now, does their situation appear improved in the way living up to the quote would entail? My uneducated guess: Almost never! We just enjoy the intellectual stimuli the quote produces in our brains, we enjoy true and good words, we love a new perspective, but such words alone don’t go very far in motivating people. If they did: The world should already be much more rational and compassionate than what it is now, that’s for sure.

    Personally I like quotes very much. But I don’t think I have changed my behavior very much due to a quote alone (at least not that I am aware of, but it is very possible on a subconscious level of course). What about you?

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    1. Thank you 🙏🏻🙏🏻
      I love quotes too, especially those I can relate to and that rings true in my situation.
      I just don’t celebrate the fakeness around a lot of them, so your analysis is correct. 😊
      To me, they are reminders.
      I have always felt that way, about the overlayer of positivity. Making it into something that it is not.

      Oh, that will be very personal indeed, but I might get into that on a later occasion 😊

      Like

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