Social media shaming.

We live in a world with seven million opinions. Seven billion opportunities to create offense. Seven billion opportunities to create community. Seven million opportunities! Out of these seven billion, an estimate of two and a half billion use social media. Two and a half billion. That is two and a half billion people to connect with, to inspire and be inspired by. Yet we manage to paint social media as the devil on crack. How on earth is this possible? How did we come to view such amazing possibilities as a dark hole of evil? I am of course referring social media shaming. It’s time to stop this ridiculous phenomenon. 

This phenomenon is not new. Let’s not get confused here. Blaming others for your reaction is not new. It used to be commercials, magazines and models who got the blame for peoples low self-esteem, eating disorders and other issues (the list would go on forever) until sosial media came along. Now it’s influencers, bloggers, instagramers and of course celebrities (they never seize to be scape goats) who gets the blame. 

We blame everything and everyone else for our issues. Why? Because it is quick and easy. And more importantly: we don’t have to acknowledge our imagined shortcomings or work on ourselves. If you think social media gives you low feeling of self, you need to stop lying to yourself. You are giving yourself low self-esteem and self worth. It is time we take responsibility for our reactions and the core to our reactions. I’m sorry this is harsh, but there is no way around this.  

We are social media. I am social media. You are social media. Social media is a concept. A way of connecting. And social media really has little to do with you shaming and blaming how you perceive other people’s life and convert that into self-hatred. Social media is not the problem, not the solution. Seeing an image and desire to look like it or be like it has little to do with the image itself. It is the recipient. Where the image comes from really doesn’t matter. We have been getting away with shifting responsibility for way too long. We are masters of blaming external factors for our internal imbalance. I think the main issue, the biggest problem we meet in mental health and socitity as a whole, really is the lack of three things: 

  1. Self-awareness 
  2. Values 
  3. Responsibility 

Do you even know yourself or what your values are? What is the guideline in your life? What is important to you and why it is important? Is the lack of this why you are giving away your power to a concept? I am not saying that we do not get affected by what we see around us. As humans it is in our nature to to look to others. We imitate others. It is crucial to us as children to learn how to be human. The problem here is that we never stop and mature. We are not taught that we have power and responsibility to alter this as we grow. What if we spent all the time and research spent on badmouthing social media on establishing and developing good core values in ourselves? To be aware of our emotional system? To take responsibility for ourselves and our perspectives? For how we react and respond to the world around us? It’s easy to blame social media, bloggers, magazines and what not. In reality we are blaming a concept. A concept created by and used by us!! It’s pushing responsibility in to thin air. It’s the opposite of reason. 

Social media gives us so much positive. The ability to connect and stay connected with people we cross paths with. To research. To start our own businesses! – Easier than ever before. Information has never been so accessible or up to date, ever. To be inspired. To inspire. To learn and to teach. I sincerely believe that the connection between the user and the screen is where we need to put in the work. Not blaming and pushing responsibility, not shaming our tools. Social media is a tool. YOU Are the person. You decide how you feel, what your perspective is and how you want to be influenced. Take back that power. You have so much power. Don’t let fear get in the way of your power. Be what you want to see instead of blaming other people for how you feel about their lives. Speak. Inspire. Stay positive. 

To present a solution as unfollow or stop using social media is really like stop peeing if it hurts to pee! No. You can’t cure the desease by getting rid of the symptoms. But that is our approach to most things in life. Why? Being bullied, insecure, jealous and envious didn’t just magically appear with social media. I destinctly recall all of these feelings from way before smartphones even existed. Before cellphones was a hit all together. It’s human and we need to deal with these feelings at our core. We need to Stop blaming social media! 

It will always exist. People who are prettier, fitter, more successful in business, in love and in life in general. Or the idealism, the belief that it is. Instead of hating on that so intensely and breaking yourself down, which does you absolutely no good, do good things for you. Show the world what you are missing. Connect with people. And most importantly: Connect with yourself. We are all egotistic willing victims of ourselves and our perspectives. We can change that. It is harsh, but going through life blaming everything and everyone else for your misery hurts you more. It’s a choice to be a victim, you make it and you take the consequences of it. 

We can all make a beautiful holiday shitty with our attitude, or complaint about a high paying job we just got because the neighbor does better. Or we can choose to enjoy the positive aspect of it and be grateful and recognize all the great things that enters our lives and take on the challenges. To take responsibility for our perspective and our journeys. Including social media. We can all self-develop. The best thing about that is that it is free and it can be done anywhere. At any time. The only price you pay is mastering pain, which in the end makes you stronger and more capable. 

Stop blaming social media for your reaction. Stop reacting, start responding and take responsibility for yourself. Take back your power.

xx

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