An introduction to values – and…

…my book! I have decided to embark on my lifelong dream: to write a book. I’ve thought long and hard about what kind of book I wanted it to be and then one night it just hit me: Values. In a world managed by likes and popularity it seems too me that we have lost our inner guide-system. I know I had and it was a battle correcting years of confusion. It wasn’t until I came to find my flawed value-system that my outlook on life, myself and the world in general started to change. I know that if I can do it, so can you. So let’s get on with the introduction:

We see the world, not as it is, but as we are – or, as we are conditioned to see it. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms. 

Steven Convey

That Steven Convey. He put an entire train of thought down in two sentences, but that is not what impressed me. I find his statement to be infinite true. Even though we do this unconsciously, we see and experience the world from our unique perspective. We apply our opinions, our experience and our beliefs when we manufacture other peoples opinions about us, our opinion about ourselves and our opinion of others – and the world as a whole. We are the main character in our life-story. We as humans are a first-person perspective. As much as I would like for it to be a way around this, there really isn’t. That is not to say that we cannot relate to other people, execute empathy and meet the world with less judgement, but as first-person beings it can be hard for us to grasp things that we do not understand. This is not a sole negative, I believe it is what makes us unique in many ways because it drives us to learn, experience and develop. Not only ourselves, but also the world we live in. At the same time I believe it is also the cause of our lack to learn from other peoples mistakes, the reason history repeats itself over and over: We need to experience from our own perspective. If this wasn’t the case we wouldn’t have to childproof everything. Self-help books wouldn’t exist in the numbers that they do and we would all live peacefully with each other. Understanding each other. Now, how can that even be possible when we don’t even understand ourselves?  We are self-contradictory moralist who judge based on a personal perception of perfection. Do you remember your parent nagging away about this and that, and learning from his/her experience? Well, did you do what you intended anyway? I did.  

Let me put it this way: If God really, and if you believe in God, created man in his image, doesn’t this mean that God is flawed? Yet we meet judgement and moral superior beings preaching perfection in every corner of the world. Beings who displays their flaws and hypocrisy louder than their preach. I would say this is highly relevant in our time and day (speaking out of myself of course), a time where we so loudly demand tolerance whilst we fight our opponents with intolerance. A time where political correctness has become its own ideology and where the freedom of speech is solely provided to those who speak its agenda. A time where we make laws about subjective offenses and cultivate self-hatred as a collective. A world of jealousy, self-hatred and the desire to sit on a high horse. How did we come to this? You see, it is also my belief that we can be better at narrating ourselves and our life-stories. That we can to some extent learn from each other if we are open to putting our overgrown egos aside for a bit. If we learn to listen more than we speak. 

As humans we are equipped with one more flaw: our autopilot follow. We do as others do without really knowing why. We adapt patterns of behavior, opinions and (non)logic without ever thinking it through. Heck, we are so up in our own asses that we prefer others to think for us, so we can worry about meaningless shit like likes on instagram or overeating carrots. We also have a fear: To not be liked. These two combined leads us to the world before our feet today. A sleeping world. A world where to be liked and/or famous is our primary goal. Dont believe me? Chew on the word trends. We are desperate to belong, fit in and be popular. So you see, there is a silver-lining: We can influence each other. My wish is of course that we can influence each other on a deeper level than Kate moss’s Heroin chic versus Beyonce’s bootylicious. It’s high time we use this to our benefit instead of the meaningless crap we are doing at the moment. We need to acknowledge that there is more to us than our shells. That the purpose of our lives is to live them, and that we don’t need to go through life in a chronic war with ourselves or the world.  

I am writing this book with the ambition and the hope that what I truly believe is true and possible: We can influence each other on a deeper level. That we have it in us to develop our inner characteristics, find our values, live them and live more harmonious and joyful lives. In the end we all dream about the same thing, right? Happiness and fulfillment. 

xx

2 Comments

  1. It just recently occurred to me that your notion is so true where people need to experience something first-hand, and this often outweighs the advice of someone who has already experienced the pain that is down that path. The wisdom of the old is no match for the vigor foolishness of youth! I say this with humor, mind you.

    I have gone nuts explaining, showing, pleading and demanding my young loved ones to do better than I, to avoid the life mistakes I made, develop good habits, recognize foolish traps and to be conservative with their money… and I have wasted a lot of breath, let me tell you!

    Compassion to one another works well in a nurturing environment but there are entire societies… very old societies… that teach otherwise. Social structure that restricts education, punishment based on gender and absolute muzzling of new ideas. I would love to read about how these social structures are breaking down; that compassion, empathy, love and humanitarian practice creates a new generation that escapes the prison of mandated religious practice and the strangling of a woman’s right and wholesome place in the world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, I love “The wisdom of the old is no match for the vigor foolishness of youth!”!
      I don’t think explaining or working to get your point/experience across is a waste, but it does serve us to be aware that it might not serve the purpose we intend and shield us from the expectation that others won’t do errors based on our stories.

      Regarding the old societies: I would love the same. But I also need to remind myself that we are culturally opposites. We (these cultures and I) have nothing in common other than the fact that we are human. To see their angle is for me impossible, as I am sure mine is to them. With mutual respect, empathy and compassion – meaning everything aside – we might be able to try to explain better, but this is not something that I hold my breath for. Though there is the escapee every now and again.

      Like

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