WHY our New Year resolutions fail and HOW to go about achieving them.

We are one week into the new year, the gyms are overpacked with “new year new me”-enthusiast. Magazines are throwing headlines like “Clean out you old life” and “How to get fit in 4 weeks” at us. It’s the time us to make life changes, it is the constructed concept of immediate change which I call the “Flip the switch”-concept.

Are you the person that don’t make resolutions because you know you’ll eventually fall off anyway?

Or do you make resolutions, but you feel conflicted about them?

Do you enter the new year with mixed feelings of blank pages and the fear of failure?

Fear no more my friend, this post is for you. I want to help you get past this.

Let’s talk about the “Flip the switch”-concept. I will explain this concept from a fitness perspective. Fitness is trending every January, it is something that most of us have some sort of relationship with and most of all fitness is something that the majority of us want in our life. Now, the challenge is that we want it now. This used to be my way of thinking and I am pretty sure you have practiced impatience in some, if not all, areas of your life too. We as humans are primarily result oriented, we focus on end-goals. We spend to much time setting goals without proper thought, we execute the work for a short amount of time and when the result isn’t showing up immediately we quit – or search for another quick fix. We all do it. We have this romantic ideal about how meaningful and perfect our life will be just when I..Β but rest assure the “when I…” can’t arrive quickly enough. This is the “Flip the switch”-concept: I have an idea that x (x = a not very well thought goal) will improve my life because of y (y = the romance surrounding x) and x has to happen now. Let me give you an example:

“I will be happy and enjoy my life when I’m as fit as Page Hathaway because she looks so good and she looks happy. I want to look like that and be happy”

Can you spot the flaws in this? I appreciate you as a intellectual human-being, but I will write it out for the purpose of the unity of this post. These are the following flaws:

  1. I’m not happy in my skin or my life, but I believe getting a fit physic will change my mindset and my perception of life as a whole.
  2. I don’t enjoy my now, my life and happiness is in the future, therefore so are my thoughts.
  3. A happy life is determined by outer exterior.
  4. Looks determined how happy I am.
  5. Everything I see around me is true.

And this is the foundation we set our goals and ambitions upon. It is a recipe for failure. You don’t achieve Pagie’s physic in three weeks, she spent what? 10 years? Now, time is of the essence, because time isn’t really the issue here. It is the process. The goal that we create for ourselves have to reflect our values, our values determine if the goal is worth the work and the work itself is really the number one opponent we need to fall in love with. When we love what we do, the external results that we crave often comes along as a bonus together with the realization that the journey that took us there was the greatest gift of all. Quick-fixes don’t produce happiness. How many times have you been told that plastic surgery won’t make you happy? You go in, sleep and wake up with an altered body part thinking that this will change your life. No. You still wake up as you, with the same mindset and the same craving for happiness. Same thing with moving due to unhappiness – you will still be with you no matter where you are. There is no escaping yourself.

So how do we succeed in our resolutions, goals and ambitions?

Values.

Your values are crucial to your success. The “why” is not always enough, you need to know the foundation of your “why” and your “why” to the “why”. Ask yourself these following questions:

Why do I want to do this?

Is this why my why, or is it something that I picked up from somewhere else?

How will this improve my life as it is right now?

Does my why contradict or go together with my core values?

This requires that you’re in contact with your core values, of course, and unless you have done the work your answers to these questions might still be very superficial and external based. Don’t worry, we will go through the process of how to rediscover your core values in a later post, but for now I want you to take these 4 things in to consideration while rethinking your resolutions:

  1. I want to make time and effort to achieve this, because this is important to me.
  2. I am doing this for myself, not for anyone else.
  3. I will embrace the journey that I have to travel to get there.
  4. My life is now, not in three weeks or six months.

I hope this was useful to you and I would love for you to share some of your resolutions with me in the comments below – if you have any or if you want to start some.

Without further adieu, I wish you a lovely Sunday and look forward to your next visit!

You got this!

xx

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